20 Items Not to Bring to Purdue

1. Any Indiana University Gear

2. Wine Opener

This is because you’ll be drinking it from a bag!

3. Your dog, cat or pet

If you are attached to your fury friend, we would suggest getting a pet camera. There are very strict policies against having animals at college.

4. Nails for pictures

Nailing pictures is against the rules. Stick with posters and approved adhesive to decorate your new home.

5. A toaster

Toasters are banned. You will need to leave your “Brave Little Toaster” at home

6. Expensive bikes

Unless you are the next Lance Armstrong, leave your $10k bike at home. College is a prime spot for theft and bikes rank as one of the most stolen items on campus.

7. Your highschool letterman

Just stop right there! If you are that attached to your high school, you should enroll for another year. High school is done. Keep calm and move on.

8. Your parents

DO NOT BRING YOUR PARENTS TO COLLEGE! Sorry mom and dad! You are going to have to stay at home.

9. Valuable items

You won’t need your 24k gold diamond stud earrings for your 8 am calculus class.

10. Anything your roommate already has

Take time to plan with your roommate to avoid bringing the same items that can be shared.

11. Drugs

Do not bring illegal drugs like marijuana, MDMA, esctasy, etc. to college. Getting caught posessing/consuming illegal drugs can lead to expulsion, jail time, or even death. Don’t risk it!

12. Guns and weapons

Do not bring guns and other weapons to college. They pose a risk to you and your fellow peers. Females are recommended to consider carring sexual assault device devices like pepperspray.

13. Long distance relationships

Around 40% of long distance relationships fail and last only four and a half months. This is even higher among college students. Leave any LDRs at home and be free your first year. You won’t regret it.

14. Too many clothes

Bringing too many clothes to college is something that can and should be avoided.

15. Candles

This is a big no-no. Candles are banned in all residences. They pose fire hazards to you and your fellow students.

16. Tablet

If you have a laptop, you will not need tablet. Save your money.

17. Binders

Everything is in the cloud now! You can get your notes on OneClass. You can scan any piece of paper using CamScanner. You will not need binders. Period.

18. Halogen Lights

Bring halogen lights to college causes risk of explosion and harm to you and your fellow peers.

19. Fake IDs

Using Fake IDs is from websites like chfake.com is illegal and can result in fines and jail time. If you are going to get a fake id, make sure it at least looks like you.

20. Air Conditioners

Bring a fan instead.

21. Hoverboards

There are many safety concerns surrounding hoverboards. Plus, you will definitely get made fun of.

11 Reason NOT to Attend Purdue University


1. Food is everywhere

2. It has a horrible national and global reputation

3. Because living in a student-based city is totally unsafe

4. There is absolutely nothing to do

5. It has a campus that looks absolutely disgusting

6. Students are Ashamed to go there

7. School Spirit Doesn’t Exist

8. Clubs don’t exist

9. Not a Job in Sight

10. Hate Speech is Common

11. No Diversity

30 Tips to Survive 1st Year at Purdue

1. Meet your floormates as soon as possible

2. Pick your schedule carefully

3. Picking professors proficiently

4. Study groups are your friend

5. Keep your friends close, and your TAs closer

6. Meal swipes are your friend

7. The Freshman 15 is real

8. Clubs all day, everyday


10. Buy used textbooks or rent textbooks

11. Have enough sleep

12. Make use of Office Hours or Tutorials

13. Don’t’ stress too much

14. Avoid signing up for classes that start before 9:00 am

15. Call your parents

16. Try walking everywhere as much as possible.

17. Learn how not to procrastinate.

18. Keep up with regular exercise and a healthy diet.

19. Take advantage of your campus resources.

20. Get out of your comfort zone.

21. Manage your time

22. Save your money

23. Don’t sweat the small stuff

24. Keep your room clean.

25. Open up to other majors

26. Keep an eye on your stuff

27. Do not wear a lanyard with your keys on it.

28. Know your limits

29. Make sure you set a timer when you’re doing laundry.

30. Enjoy yourself!


16 Types of Roommates You May Get at Purdue

1. The passive-aggressive

Perhaps one of the most lethal species is the passive-aggressive roommate.; Case in point: “Hey! I love it when you let your stuff leak to my side of the room!  [plastic smile] It’s so funny because I totally trip on it in the morning! [plastic smile]” Beneath its smiling layer is a wrath that could ruin you if you don’t store your shoes the right way or keep the towels straightened at the sink.  He (or she) just might throw your belongings down from the top of the clock tower when you’re not looking, later claiming that Donald Trump did it.  Don’t cross paths with this creature because one glare will leave you petrified.  *See dictionary definition under “Medusa” for more pertinent information.

2. The partier

There are two subspecies of this annoying group: 1) The type that just doesn’t seem to get the concept of “I want to sleep in peace, not with your latest hookup on my newly washed blanket.  Please don’t kick me out of my own room.”  Alas, you are forced to listen in excruciating pain to the kissing that’s going on two feet away from you.  “Don’t get your cooties on my pillow, partier 1 and partier 2,” you whisper as tears stream down your face.  2) It’s 3 in the morning and he just came in drunk, muttering incoherent words.  It’s actually kind of funny, but your amusement will end when he pukes on your favorite sweatshirt—and why not; you probably spent as much on that sweatshirt as you did on your college tuition.

Beware, kids.  The partier makes college terrifying.

3. The Internet junkie

He seems to always be curled into a blanket ball, staring with brainwashed happiness at the screen of Netflix and Facebook posts.  And wait a second—is that a cat riding a dragon into a volcano on his screen?  You’ll never know when the likes, the hashtags, and the generally useless browsing will end.  When will he ever turn off his MacBook Air?  Rumor has it that every time the moon eclipses the sun, he will hiss and turn off his laptop as it slams shut.  Take pictures of the moment and count that as your college job.  (But it’s only news-worthy if he’s not using an Apple laptop.)

4. The late-night studier

It’s 2:13 AM and he’s still staring at his math homework.  Hey, isn’t that the same problem he was stuck on the last time you looked up from your bed, at 1:33 AM?  Don’t get me wrong, this species usually means well.  But sometimes, you’ll run across an extremely tired one that merely turns to instinct to keep himself awake; he’ll turn on all the lights in the dorm whilst you cry in anguish and try to fall asleep.  This species is in its earliest level of evolution, since the more efficient ones will realize that personal lamps do the trick.  Maybe he’ll evolve to stop procrastinating… nah, that won’t happen.  Not even the day that the Internet junkie turns off his MacBook.  In any case, bring yourself to study with this inefficient being during the day so that he doesn’t ruin your non-nocturnal tendencies.

5. The overly friendly one

There are three subspecies of the OFO:  1) The type that is actually super kind and was probably raised on the nectar of rainbows and unicorns.  Trust me, he’ll lend you his soul if you ask him to.  Maybe even his gym pass.  Maybe.  2) The type that cleverly puts on a smile and knows that you’ll come in handy during his first prelim crash study session.  Be prepared to answer every question that could ever be asked; the idea that “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” will suddenly seem like a lie.  3) The one who is calculating your secret demise.  You’ll be dead by the end of the year, and your supply of Big Red Bucks will be taken, too.  Have your closest friend draft out your obituary for the Daily Sun.

6. The hermit

Rarely does the hermit make an appearance.  After a long day, you’ll go back to your dorm and see that he’s once again sitting on his bed, chowing down a huge bowl of Cheerios and staring at his phone with an unread textbook nearby.  Of course, that phone has no notifications or texts on it, save for the 13 useless notifications from the Class of 2021 Facebook Group.  Better luck next year, hermit.  You’ll make new friends next year, since you utterly failed to do so during O-Week and will now suffer for the rest of the school year.

7. The social butterfly

Like the hermit, the social butterfly has 13 useless notifications from the Class of 2019 Facebook Group.  But unlike the hermit, the social butterfly is laughing at those stupid notification posts with the rest of his friend group on the way to Collegetown.  His friend groups always follow three golden rules:  1) Must be composed of at least 5 people besides himself.  2)  Must be composed of a nearly 1:1 ratio of girls to guys to show his utter ability to make friends with both genders.  3)  Must be rotated on an hourly basis, with a possibility of 24 unique groups to hang out with per day.  The social butterfly always has one of three base personality traits: very nice, very mean, or very drunk.  Have fun figuring out which he falls under when he brings 10 upperclassmen from West Campus to your freshman dorm on North Campus.

8. The one who settles

This roommate species is perhaps the nicest of them all.  Too nice.  You might be the worst roommate in history, borrowing his expensive university gear and not returning it, but he doesn’t say a thing to you.  He is internally very sad about the various crimes you’ve committed in violation of the Roomie Brother-/Sisterhood, but what can he do?  He’s too nice, similar to the first sub-species of the overly friendly one, yet he recognizes your terrible offenses.  Try to figure this one out.  If you’re being a total jerk of a roommate, stop.  And give him back his only Orientation Guide, gosh dang it.

9. The one who insults you but doesn’t know it

“Wow, we all must be from the South!  I’m so glad, because I TOTALLY hate Northerners!”  And you’re just thinking, “Wait a second… but I’m from the North.  Maine, in fact.”  This species of roommate is one that simultaneously keeps you laughing in ecstasy and crying in sheer emotional pain from the violent sting of their words.  Now, because of what he said, you definitely can’t be from the North anymore and will have to forever keep your peace about the life you used to know.  Change all your past information and even your permanent address to one from Georgia or something.  It’s time to start your life as a reborn man (or woman).  The gist is that this species will ruin your life as you decay from within and become an angry, sad little shell.

10. The deaf one

There are two very different subspecies of the deaf one:  1) Everyone on your floor is dying of the extreme Ithaca cold, but somehow this one cannot hear it happen because your dorm is torn up with his extremely loud mixtape.  For some reason, he finds it necessary to turn any kind of sound up to full volume.  It could full well be the noise that a child makes when crying and choking on his own tears.  But, my oh my, “My music makes homework fun to do!” he says. 2) Everything you tell him just goes in one ear and right out the other.  The key is that he’s selectively deaf: You tell him to help you eat the pizza you ordered, and he decides that this is something worth hearing.  Very well.  Then you tell him to help you pay for the pizza he just swallowed whole.  Common replies include “…” or “……”  The deaf one survives on the sweet juices of the following mottos: “Huh,” “I don’t remember you saying that,” and “My bad.”

11. The one who complains

This species clearly never knew what “university meant when they pressed the “submit” button for their application.  It didn’t know that “university” involved actually having to communicate with people, or actually having to do homework.  The best survival technique is to wait until second semester to hang out with an OWC, when he has likely become accustomed to the harsh university environment.  If the acclimatization never occurs, then you have the life-complaining variety of OWC on your hands.  You’ll be doing your BioG 1440 homework when suddenly, BAM, the OWC starts a rant on his life.  But the good thing is that you can be complaining buddies with your OWC roomie, which is good for those stressful days.

12. The “Survival of the Fittest”

A rare species that you’ll hardly ever see in your dorm; lives by the motto “sleep is for the weak.”  (You know your SOTF roommate still lives with you though because your mini-fridge is packed with the free food he got from campus events.)  Often attends morning classes all the way until the afternoon.  Only says as many words as necessary.  May skip meals and then pass out during CHEM 2070 laboratory because of hunger or thirst, then repeat the next week.  A species that often scrounges as much money as possible and can commonly be found at the TCAT stop yelling, “I found a penny!”  Grabs multiple fruit not just from RPCC but also from Risley.  (That’s called guts.)  Much is to be learned from this painfully efficient species.  He’s probably an economics major and will be very good at ripping people off someday.

13. The Wanted-a-single-but-instead-got-placed-into-a-quadruple

Ah, perhaps one of the saddest of species.  In times of duress, members of this species can be found lamenting their terrible, randomized luck in dark corners.  You may find them wearing ski masks while crouched behind open doors, staring longingly at your single dorm for uncomfortably long amounts of time.  Especially if you have a spacious Balch single.  Keep your doors locked; you never know what they’ll do to get that single life.

14. The Why-did-I-get-placed-in-this-hall

A cousin of the Wanted-a-single-but-instead-got-placed-into-a-quadruple. Instead of craving the single life, the Why-did-I-get-placed-in-this-hall has demonstrated tendencies to long for other residence or program halls.  The most common variety is the CKB-pouter, which can often be found telling friends “CKB has all the fun,” or in direr times, “b-but air conditioning…”  Another very common variety is the I’m-actually-broke, which longs to live in either Risley or JAM but instead is forced to despair on the floor because it spent all its money on tuition.

15. The Pessimist

Much like #11 on the list.  However, the pessimist finds it necessary to describe nearly all terrible aspects of not just his own life but also life in general, regardless of whether that aspect is actually terrible compared to the experiences of anybody else on campus. You’ll be eating your CTB bagel in bliss when suddenly, the pessimist begins ranting about how “the construction workers don’t want people to eat bagels because they evilly and intentionally built CTB so far away from North Campus.”  Where did that rant even come from?  Nobody knows.  They say you must be the pessimist to know the pessimist, but that’s just a trap that this cunning species employs to turn you into one of them.  Don’t get me wrong, the pessimist can be a good person at heart.  But don’t let the pessimist fool you into thinking about everything that could ever go wrong.

16. The Optimist

A person unlike any other on the list.  This species is the best to be around.  While holding your binoculars up to the sun at the top of the clock tower, you may see him majestically soaring in the sky with a Pegasus in tow.  It’s your job to be a member of this species.  Because if you succeed, nothing will bring you down—not your prelims, not your lack of meal swipes on the 10 meal/week plan, not your “rather useless” chemistry professor.  For the optimist, everything is smooth sailing, and everything has not just a silver but a gold lining.  Maybe when you evolve into an optimist, you’ll remember that college at university is an experience of a lifetime after all.

25 Types of Students in the Purdue “Class of 2021” Facebook Group

If you are reading this, you are likely a member of the Purdue Class of 2021 Facebook Groups. College kids were a lot different in 1969 than they are now. Besides the impending doom of the Cold War, the first moon landing, and Nixon’s rocky years, technology wasn’t all the available. More often than not, college freshmen met and spoke to their roommate for the first time on move-in day. Now, most colleges have a “Class of 2020” Facebook group where incoming freshmen can flesh out their nerves or have their questions answered by upperclassmen. I don’t know what Bryan Adams was talking about in his hit song “Summer of ‘69”, but I, as an incoming freshman, am sure glad technology is around.

Before all you Bryan Adams fans get upset, there are some disadvantages to a “Class of 2021” freshmen group. Before I turned off my notifications, there were so many pings coming from my phone that I thought my iPhone gained a stutter. More than anything, it seemed like the same fifteen people always seemed to pop up in these groups. The following people are frequent in my own personal “Class of 2021” group, and are common among other similar “Class of 2021” groups:

1. The Procrastinator

No matter how many emails, notifications, and Facebook posts, there is always someone who doesn’t seem to get to it until the last moment. Most common posts are: “Guys, I have twenty minutes to complete a two hour alcohol education assignment. HELP!” or “Hey, did anyone else wait until the last second to find a roommate? If so, hmu! I promise I don’t smell.” The list is never-ending.

2. The Countdown Clock

For every occasion, you can count on someone to post a countdown for you. “15 DAYS UNTIL WE PICK OUR ROOMS GUYS #getpumped” is an example, or “15 days until 4 days before the week before move-in day! #soclosebutsofar” Need I go on?

3. The Clueless Kid

See number 1: “The Procrastinator.” These two people go hand in hand, but have a large difference. While the procrastinator knows about the deadline, the clueless kid knows nothing about anything, no matter how many emails, notifications, and Facebook posts. “Wait, we had to pick a roommate?” Classic.

4. The Self-Made Maniac

These people remind me of the kids that go on Shark Tank with inventions that I couldn’t come up with at my age. Where’s the perfect place to sell all those Girl Scout cookies your little sister is selling? The “Class of 2021” Facebook group, of course. The best place to share your talent for personalized pet rocks? You got it.

5. The Website Worker

So many websites in this era offer special deals to people who promote their websites via social media. Did you know that every person that clicks on your link and signs up for “X” website, you get 5 Wonderbucks? It’s pretty cool. When you get 1,000 Wonderbucks, you can trade it in for some Silly Putty and a piece of string. No, no, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes, these websites do offer some payout, but more often than not, it’s not worth the time putting into it.

6. Ethical Advocate

When you blindly accept the terms and conditions, have no fear. There is always somebody in your group perusing the lines for a hiccup in their ethics. You may think that nobody has time for that, you are mistaken. Trust me.

7. The Food Police

Orientation week is approaching and many questions are going onto the Facebook group, but one person is especially concerned: “Will the dining halls be open during the week?” or “Will they take my mini-fridge if it isn’t mini?” or “Unlimited meal plan thoughts? I’m pretty used to ten meals a day so I don’t think I can survive on anything else…” But hey, who am I criticizing? I relate a lot to Merry from Lord of the Rings. Yes, we’ve already had breakfast, but what about second breakfast?

8. Fantasy Football Fanatic

“Anybody want to start a fantasy football league? $20 to get in, hmu if u interested.” This post doesn’t pop up just once, but several times. No, I don’t want to join your fantasy football league. I’ll spend my $20 on churros and coffee. #sorrynotsorry

9. The Traveling College

I couldn’t count how many people showed themselves in their college T-shirts around the world. “Hey everyone, it’s your friendly [school team name] in the North Pole chilling with some ice!” Okay, that post didn’t happen, but my college mascot seemed to travel the world in one summer more than I have in my lifetime.

10. Social Media Monster

In a group of 1,000+ students (usually), it’s really important to be friends with them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, or be Insta-buddies. I mean, in six months when you go through your friend/follower/whatever list, you’re definitely going to remember this random person you added and you’re definitely not going to wonder why you are friends/following them/whatever. Need I say more?

11. The Lonely Lad

“Does anyone live in [your city name] and want to meet up?” No matter how big a school is, it’s not likely there’s a ton of kids in your city, unless, of course, you’re a big city kid. Awkward coffee date for two, anyone?

12. Dimension Debby

Some people really need to know the dimensions of their desk, bed, bed posts, closets, drawers, floor space, garbage can, and key hole. Hey, don’t be mean. Just give them the dimensions of the space you need from them, and they’ll be okay.

13. The Article Advocate

The world—especially Facebook—is cluttered with articles upon articles. Someone in every “Class of 2021” group just thrives on sharing them with you. Best ways to walk from the shower to your dorm room? Check. Top 10 ways to piss off your roommate and make them hate you forever? Check, and check.

14. Meme Machine

While I am a lover of memes, you, a self-made meme machine, are not the Da Vinci of memes. If I see another “Straight Outta [School Name]” I will probably call up Ice Cube and Dr. Dre and give them a piece of my mind.

15. Clueless Freshmen

These guys are everywhere in each “Class of 2021” group. In the end, we’re all clueless freshmen, and probably will remain so for the first few months of college. Is there anything wrong with that? If you call your professor “teacher” on accident, then maybe, but everyone makes mistakes. We’re going into a brand new world and it’s alright to be confused. We get to walk around campus without a hall pass. That’s a plus, right?

16. That one upperclassmen that can’t quite let go

This is the one that starts posting from the time the common application comes out, with helpful tips and suggestions and assurances. Okay, I guess this person is super helpful when it comes down to it, but lets be real- it can get weird. From posting events that we didn’t really ask about, to three paragraph responses to a “What kind of scholarships does our school offer”, overwhelming pep can turn away already anxious applicants. The strength of the school spirit is endearing, but if you are able to make yourself known as the “upperclassmen” in a 6000 student facebook page, I think there is a slight problem.

17. That one bitter person who still feels cheated by the financial aid system

This is the one that makes it very clear that they could’ve made it to a higher caliber university if it wasn’t for the lack of financial aid from our beautifully corrupt educational system. It’s the one that introduces themselves in their intro posts by listening every impressive school they got into…oh and I guess the one that they are actually attending.

18. The “netflix and chill” guy

This is the guy that you know is going to be on the lurk the moment his parents leave him to his congested dorm room. With dreams of sexiling his roommate and being “that guy” on his floor, he makes his introduction as douchey as possible. He’s always down to treat girls right and show them a good time. He’s definitely going to talk about how much he plans on going to the gym, and probably the very intense stoner music he likes to listen to. At the same time, he tries to stay mysterious by mentioned he’s undecided (ooooo?), and leaves the girls questioning. But honestly, it all comes down to one question over them all: are we on Tinder or are we on a facebook page?

19. The future president of every student organization possible

This one basically lists their resume, making the normal 100 word introduction into a 500 word essay for self affirmation. I mean, after reading their introduction you’re forced to re-evaluate if you’re worthy of going to the same college as them.  They memorized the student handbook for the school, so any question you might have will be answered within a thirty second time period. They already have their shi* together…as seen by their six year plan they add into the essay as a footnote.


20. That person who wants everyone to know that they could’ve done better

Yeah, so like, I got into Northwestern and Brown, but I think I’m going to settle for *insert state school here* just because of financial reasons and proximity to home. But yeah, I got into Northwestern and Brown. Northwestern and Brown wanted me, but I lowered my standards because of other actually important reasons. I was part of the 8 percent acceptance rate.  Northwestern and Brown. I am better than you. *Posts acceptance letter into Northwestern and Brown*

21. The comedian

One word: memes. At least in the new england school groups I’ve been in, there’s always that couple of people that posts a series of memes or funny pictures relating to the school of their choosing. It might be about the atrociously high tuition costs (#relatable), or satirical cartoons about greek life, but in the end it’s all the same. This person is definitely a like seeker on facebook, but definitely interesting enough to be friends with around the time fall rolls around.

22. The Basic One

I like going out, but i’m definitely  down to chill and watch netflix with people when I’m in the mood for a more chill night. I definitely plan on joining a sorority, I’ve never wanted anything more to have a bunch of sisters to experience college life with. One of things most important to me is my education, honestly it will be the top priority, but with my awesome time management skills and lilly pulitzer organizer it’ll be no problem. As for interests, I’m a big chipotle person (guac always please!!), and always down to grab starbucks or teavana. Feel free to follow me on instagram, twitter, snapchat, kik, tumblr, or any other form of social media that can show how cute I am!

(Based on a true post)

23. The basic one who calls others out for basic

I like going out, but i’m definitely  down to chill and watch netflix with people when I’m in the mood for a more chill night. I definitely plan on joining a sorority, I’ve never wanted anything more to have a bunch of sisters to experience college life with. One of things most important to me is my education, honestly it will be the top priority, but with my awesome time management skills and lilly pulitzer organizer it’ll be no problem. As for interests, I’m a big chipotle person (guac always please!!), and always down to grab starbucks or teavana. Feel free to follow me on instagram, twitter, snapchat, kik, tumblr, or any other form of social media that can show how cute I am!

Hahahaha see how i can be satirical and ironic and interesting at the same time? Room with me!!!


24. The athlete

This is the one that needs to emphasize the fact that they in fact made it to college, AND plan on being the popular kid…despite the 18,000 undergraduate student body. That’s right, they were the jock in high school, so they have no choice other than being the jock in college as well. In their 100 word introduction they somehow manage to include that they were recruited, that they are undeniably straight, and that they were recruited (just incase we forgot the first time). This is the one that will keep posting rosters about the game schedule, until they get a reality check and are benched until the last game of their junior year.

No matter the types of people you encounter, weird or endearing or embarrassingly you’ll always stay excited for school. It’s your dream school after all.


25. The Exchange student

They may complain about how much work they have to do, but ultimately will excuse their bad grades because hey- they’re here to have fun! They take advantage of long weekends and Reading weeks to travel and explore areas while the rest of us are here…reading.

7 Types of Boys You Might Meet at Purdue

1. The 1st Week Fling

He is everything you have imagined in a University boy, maybe even more! Funny, great to dance with, AND confident. Or is he TOO confident? The answer will be clear after the 1st week.

2. Your Floor Fellow

Maybe you have a secret crush on your floor fellow. He’s older, wiser, and nicer than the boys from home. The crush will end as a crush though. BUT there is a chance he will become your strongest ally when you are in trouble with life at Purdue! And maybe someday you would want to be him to other younger Boilermakers.

3. The Boys Next Door

Whether you’re in Rez or any other type of housing, you will establish a some sort of relationship with him. Like it or not, he will be someone you can’t avoid. AND plus, if you are in Upper Rez, he will be the guy who knows all about your “personal life” and your music taste. 

4. Business Boys

All suited up for school? YES PLEASE! You will never meet another group of people as motivated and well-dressed in the entire campus. 

5. The Frat Star

You might not be able to identify them during day time. But during night, they are fun, extreme, and SUPER ENERGETIC! No wonder you spot lots of your leaders in Frats. 

6. Gym Enthusiasts

Yeah, pretty common on Campus. With so many varsity and intramural sports to choose from, you can spot them at the gym. Usually sweating and way too focused on their sport or bod.

7. Your Guy Friend

Probably the craziest out of all of them. There’s always a crazy drunk story following you and him. AND That’s why you keep him around! 


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